wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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