so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Randomize
