His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
