But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
