Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
