Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
