I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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