You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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