i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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