too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
