Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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