Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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