Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
