I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
