You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
only you would photoshop your dick
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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