my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Bring me that man meat
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Drake has all the answers
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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