I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
