he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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