thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I FOUND THE LEGS
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize