Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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