I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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