You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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