i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
