discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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