thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Randomize
