doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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