Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
