Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
