You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't deserve a penis
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize