I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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