Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
