my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
