I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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