I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We were destined to go to rehab together
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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