how hairy? two words: wookie tits
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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