I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
