just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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