in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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