I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
