He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
