so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
