so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize