So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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