You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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