Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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