dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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