you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
