I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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