I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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