Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize