Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
this beer tastes like vomit already
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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