I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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