tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
