he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
