I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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