Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
