Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
