I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
