im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
