I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
