that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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