this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
