I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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