Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
