Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
