It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize